12
2004
Running for elected office? Thinking about it?
Well, now's the time to squeeze in that affair with the young hot intern, the comely receptionist, or the beautiful but troubled daughter or son of a contributor. Don't waste a minute. Get your clothes off right now. Make it like taking PAC money or getting out of the war by doing (or not) National Guard service or smoking marijuana or driving after one too many cocktails, something everyone does but doesn't talk about. It's the only way we can out of this mess.
And if you're not running for office and your favorite elected official isn't having an affair with a thong-wearing, statuesque blonde (or blond) who favors late-night visits and little black dresses, I say kick him or her out of office for being unAmerican. I want sexed up whorish men and women running the country for the foreseeable future. It's our only hope.