Spot-On

The Italian parliament has never been a particularly peaceful place. Sessions turn into brawls with grating regularity and, according to one recent investigation, many government representatives are on drugs.

Now, even the bathrooms are a battleground.

Forza Italia party spokesperson Elisabetta Gardini, formerly an actress in a string of TV miniseries, was "traumatized" when she came across Europe's first transgender senator Luxuria in the parlimentary loo.

Attentive Spot-on readers will remember that Luxuria (who, for the record, has not had a sex-change op) decided to use the women's room from the day she entered the hallowed halls back in March. Seven months ago. So today, it does sound as if Gardini just wanted an opportunity to ham it up.

"I was traumatized," Gardini told AP. "It was violence, sexual violence."

This kind of line may go over fine in "Prisoner of the Heart," where Gardini played a widowed veterinarian traumatized by her inability to have children. In real life, honey, it's a bit over the top.

This is clearly a non-starter as a "real" news story and you have to wonder what the journalists who spoke to the outraged spokeswoman were thinking. Let's examine the geography of a women's bathroom. There are sinks, hand dryers and stalls. Stalls, people. So, when exactly was Gardini being subjected to this "sexual violence?"

Did Luxuria ask to borrow her lip gloss? Give a disparaging look at Gardini's purse while drying her hands?

I say if Luxuria/Vladimiro wants to wear uncomfortable clothes, uncomfortable shoes, spend time and money on makeup and hair, operation or not, (s)he's one of us.

Using the women's room, like many of the superficial things that make a person one of the girls, is a hassle. What about those lines? Maybe that was it! By Gardini's calculations, Luxuria could've gone for a quick stand-up in the men's room instead of standing in front of her waiting for a stall.

The two are evenly matched, in style, if not in gender. Luxuria got an understated, jungle-red dig in (a là "The Women,") by telling daily Corriere della Sera: "I could not have imagined so much screaming for something like this. Evidently, you're born a woman, but you become a lady."

Testify, sister.

Posted by Nicole Martinelli at 6:03 PM | Print this article